Top Ten Things to Do on May 22nd, 2011

By now you have probably heard of Harold Camping. He is known around the internet as "that crazy guy" whose organization has spent close to a bajillion dollars announcing that the world will end on Saturday, May 21st 2011. Actually, to be specific, Camping says the world won't end until October 21st. On May 21st, all the true Christians will be raptured (kind of like a heavenly vacuum process) leaving only unbelievers to wait for the end of the world to arrive just before Halloween 2011. (Dang! Kendra and I were going to dress up as Angelina and Brad this year!).

Anyhow, in light of this cuckoo bird and his predictions, I thought it would be fun to give some advice to all of you who are actually planning on being around on the day AFTER the big rapture.

Here is theMangoTimes TOP TEN Things To Do on May 22nd, 2011:

NUMBER 10: Wake up and eat post-apocalyptic french toast covered with butter, real syrup and powdered sugar (I know, this could be an entry on every top-ten list you ever read on theMangoTimes, because eating french toast is just so dang good). Seriously. Do it.

NUMBER 9: Open your favorite Bible and read it through from cover to cover. Along the way, use a big green pen and circle the word "rapture" every time you read it. If you don't find the word "rapture", read the entire bible again...slower.

NUMBER 8: Call your best friend and tell them, "Hey, I just read the entire Bible twice and guess what, the word rapture isn't even in there! Weird huh?" Then, put away your green pen.

NUMBER 7: Go to The Gap and buy a pair of really comfortable jeans for your new post-rapture life.

NUMBER 6: Seriously. Go make one of these very cool things and smile. Actually, this has nothing with the end of the world. You can do this any time you want. Do me a favor though. Once you have created your own, come back here and post a link to your own version in the comments section on this post, pretty please!

NUMBER 5: Call up your favorite dispensationalist and play some Church Music for them.

NUMBER 4: Log on to facebook. Update the following: "Is anyone still here?"

NUMBER 3: Purchase LEFT BEHIND - THE DVD in theMT Amazon Shop, because all the proceeds from anything purchased in our store go to sending Ten2Kenya. By the way, theMangoTimes plans on being here between May and October and reporting about the post-rapture tragedies that occured. (Think "A Thief in the Night" - unmanned cars and lawn mowers that were left running).

NUMBER 2: Go get a cool Christian tattoo on your wrist that says "Matt 24:36" (this one is actually a cool idea if you put it where your watch would normally go).

and the NUMBER 1 Thing You Should Do on May 22nd, 2011:

Go to church. It's Sunday, afterall. I recommend going here: Redeemer Church, Modesto. Believe me, even after the rapture, it will still be packed at the 9 and 11AM services, so get there early! This week's topic: Sex in the Gospel Centered Marriage.

Quietly making noise,


Washington DC - Top Six Things

Here's a cool thing. Kendra's mom(Grammy Adele, G-Ma, or my personal favorite "Ladele") has decided to introduce each of her grandchildren to American history with the gift of a trip to Washington, DC. Instead of taking everyone, we decided to split the trips, so this past month we travelled with the top three Mangoboys to DC and Colonial Williamsburg.

It was a very fun trip. Kendra planned out all of our events and did a great job allowing us to see more than the highlights of the city and surrounding region. There is so much to report on, but to keep it simple, here are my top six highlights of our week on the east coast.

6. The Metro. I'm not a regular commuter in the DC area. I don't know how good or bad it is on a daily basis for commuting. But, if you have to use a public transportation system, it is hard to beat the Metro system in Washington. It was super easy to understand and navigate for newbies and tourists. We only used our rental car once to go into town and the rest of the time we easily travelled to and from on the train.
Maybe I'm being naive (probably), but I felt very safe and especially loved the opportunity to sleep on my way in and out of town. Very cool indeed!

5. Art Galleries. We visited two art galleries: The Smithsonian Gallery and The National Gallery of Art. They were both fantastic. The main exhibit on display at the Smithsonian was the personal collection of Norman Rockwell's belonging to Steven Spielberg and George Lucas. Way cool! The National Gallery of Art was equally phenomenal. Walking from room to room took us from the 13th to the 17th century of Dutch, French, Italian, and American pieces of art. Seriously, from a guy whose knowledge of art stops at Disney cartoons, these two museums were a highlight of our week! My personal favorite find was DaVinci's smudged thumbprint in one of his paintings. How cool is that?

4. The Library of Congress. This was my first trip to the Library of Congress and I was stunned by the beauty and architecture of this building. I'm not normally moved by grand architecture, but this place is truly amazing. I watched Nicholas Cage run around the building in "National Treasure 2," but that does not begin to do this place justice. As the largest library in the world, they have over 140 million volumes. We were able to see a real Guttenburg Bible on display. We browsed Thomas Jefferson's personal library, and the list goes on. They receive over 20,000 new items every single day. We could have spent an entire day just touring the library.

3. Maryland Crabs. Here is a little known fact for the readers of theMT. I was born in Baltimore, Maryland. It must be in my genetic make-up, but we feasted on a dozen Maryland blue crabs until our bellies were full. We didn't take the boys (acted "shelfish"-hahahaha). These tasty big boys (did you know you order Maryland crabs by sex and size) were doused in Old Bay and accompanied by a dozen Blue Point oysters (not ordered by sex) and a few Red Stripes and "the best Arnold Palmer Kendra has ever tasted." For our west coast friends, we are still partial to the steamed Dungenous crabs. We can't wait for crab-feed season (the only high point in otherwise foggy Januarys).

2. Mt. Vernon. Hands down, my favorite piece of history continues to be the home and property of George Washington. Gorgeous riverfront acreage, beautiful grounds and a wonderfully restored home. What's not to love?
There is plenty to learn about Washington's life as a farmer, a soldier, a president and a husband, but my favorite fact has to do with his prolific correspondence. In the course of his life, George Washington wrote over 20,000 pieces of personal correspondence. Granted, he had secretaries, but that is a lot of ink/feather letter writing (as we struggle to reply to an email).

1. Companionship. The sites were terrific, but at the top of my list was the company I enjoyed. I loved hanging out with these goofballs for ten days. We ate a ton of good food, walked our butts off, and just enjoyed the opportunity to spend time with these young men.
They were great travelers and had great attitudes as we dragged them through the city for ten days. Iron hats at Jamestown, juicy burgers at the Hard Rock Cafe, drinking songs in a Williamsburg tavern, balsa wood airplanes at the hotel, and trying to act cool on the Metro...just a few of my favorite memories with these guys!

Thanks Ladele for such a great trip! You rock!

Quietly making noise,

My Best Friend Eric - A Top Ten

I am starting a new category called "My Best Friend Eric." For the past several months, I have been warning him that he was going to be a recurring theme on my blog...kind of like Oprah's friend Gayle. Why you ask? Well, I want everyone to get to know him better and dedicating an entire category to him might just be the way for him to get the attention he, here we are...

My Top Ten Reasons Why "My Best Friend Eric" needs to have his own category


10. I have plenty of stories to write the time he dressed up like the Greek god Zeus or the time I temporarily tattooed him in college!
9. As far as men go...he is one of the best smelling
8. Whenever we travel, he makes all the arrangements...
7. He runs a very cool non-profit business that actually helps people in need!
6. His blog really sucks and I think this may challenge him to actually write some of his good ideas down for all of us to benefit from...
5. He named his sixth son after me (well actually it was just his middle name...but that's close enough for me).
4. He let me be in his wedding - note two things in the photo below: we are both very skinny and we both had hair!
3. I'm listed in his advanced medical directive as the guy who determines whether or not to "pull his plug" so I want you all to get to know him. That way, if I need to make the decision, I can potentially offer an "online poll" and all of you can help me "make the decision."
2. Most of you know this already, but he is a very snappy dresser!

And the number one reason why my best friend Eric deserves his own category: He's my best friend! (and just saying that will make certain people cringe).

Quietly making noise,