I hate ridiculous laws. I also hate inconsistency. California is home to both.
For the past few years, the most ridiculous inconsistent law I have found involves our cell phone/speaking/driving laws. Like many states, California requires drivers to use a "hands-free" device when speaking on the phone and driving. Law enforcement officers are quick to write a citation if the driver is even holding their phone while driving.
Here's where it gets good. California drivers are free to eat a hamburger, chew on fries, and slurp on a coke while casually talking to everyone in the car. If they want, they can even drink scalding hot coffee from McDonalds while manuvering their car through traffic, but when it comes to their portable phones, drivers need to make certain to connect with a hands-free device.
This is the real kicker: Drivers must use a "hands-free" device to talk on their phone and when they do not have a "hands-free" connection, they need to put their phone down (probably next to the cup of coffe that they are free to pick up whenever they want. Phone = Bad, Coffee = Good
That's when the following piece of brilliance hit me.
The Hands-Free Coffee Phone
I've provided the step by step guide below.
Step 1: Acquire and finish your favorite coffee drink in a medium sized paper cup. For this example, I finished a Grande Cappucino from Starbucks. Yummy!
Step 2: Clean and dry your cup. Get your phone.
Step 3: Turn your phone to Speaker setting and drop it into the empty cup.
Step 4: Pretend to drink from the cup as you drive, but speak into the cup as you drive. To pull this off, you have to look like you are drinking. The sound generated will be amplified throughout the cup (added bonus!).
Step 5: Think to yourself, what other kind of stuff does Fletch have locked away in that brain of his. Then call me (with your Hands-Free Coffee Cup Phone) to thank me.
Technically this works, because you are not touching the phone with your hands (just the cup), making the phone truly "hands-free" and we all know that holding a coffee cup while we drive is legal. As the Looney Tunes genius, Wild E. Coyote, would say, "Brilliance. Sheer unadulterated brilliance."
Quietly making noise,
Fletch