Ridiculous Candy #10 - Gummy Heart

Thanks to my old fraternity brother and long time reader of theMangoTimes (let's just call him "Chuck"), I am able to show you one more entry in the ridiculous candy category.

Photo Courtesy Chuck Batchelder

There are two clear benefits to this candy.  First, it proclaims to be anatomically accurate and comes with the nifty biological cardboard backing, so you can study both the musculoskeletal system as well as the bronchial airway system while chewing on your candy heart.  Second, as mentioned this candy has a "sweet strawberry flavor" which I find to be advantageous over the smoky beef jerky flavor they could have chosen to use (personally, I think the jerky flavor would have been more accurate).

I have a couple of questions though...taking a peak at this candy, why is it a black heart?  Probably because the patient was a smoker, right? When "Chuck" sent this suggestion to me, it included the following note: "I saw these candies at the local hardware store and couldn’t help but think of you and all the great candy you have blogged about." Which leads me to wonder...what type of hardware store sells anatomically accurate candy hearts?

Quietly making noise,
Fletch

Ridiculous Candy #9 - Acid Drops

Photo courtesy of Mark

I am really enjoying this guest submission deal I have going on with the readers of theMangoTimes. Thanks to Mark, I have one more absolutely ridiculous candy to add to the list. The folks at Tesco must be very proud of their "Acid Drops" candy. They are providing a great service to kids by allowing them the "fun of drugs" without the addiction or the danger. You knew it was just a matter of time didn't you? Give me a break, candy manufacturers have been pushing the candy cigarettes on kids for the past thirty years...what did they expect would happen?
Of course kids would want something stronger...that's how the whole drug thing works. The candy cigarette is the "gateway" candy to the harder stuff. That's where it all starts...then, the next thing you know, kids start experimenting with the harder stuff and before you know it, they are hooked and sneaking over the boarder to buy illegal "hot tamales." They quit school and then you find them...unmotivated...snorting "pixie stix" and carrying their candy drug paraphenalia around in a little metal altoid boxes.
Thanks Mark! This one is truly ridiculous!
Quietly making noise,
Fletch




quietly making noise, fletch

Ridiculous Candy #8 - Boogers

Photo courtesy of Sandi

The guest submission idea is taking off...this time it was Sandi that decided to jump into the mix. She sent this little item to me as a sampling from the "birthday express" catalog, where it was included in the "total gross" party theme. Also included was the "nose" pinata with green snot coming out, tootsie-rolls collected in a fake toilet, a cut and bloody ear, a cockroach and a severed finger. This party was recommended for those age 3+ and you could send it all home in a specially designed barf bag.
Okay...fake poo and boogers...this sounds like a really good idea for a three year old birthday party. My three year old would be freaked out. What do you do when they turn four? Maybe you can throw a "dead animals" party or a "surprise! we are putting you up for adoption" bash.
Quietly making noise,
Fletch

Ridiculous Candy #7 - Tape Worms

Photo courtesy Pomaleedon

Once again, I've been treated to another guest submission by Pamela. As you may recall, she submitted the photo for the ridiculous toilet candy, but I think we have reached the bottom of the ridiculous candy barrel with this treat.
Candy tape-worms? I would rather snort pixie sticks up both nostrils then eat candy tape worms. I would love to have been in the room during product development when the genius suggested creating the tape worm candy. Seriously, has this company even taken the time to acknowledge that this candy is based on a gastrointestinal parasitic infection?
Believe me...I'm not into boycotting, but I think we should let this candy company know how we feel before the research and development team begins full production of any more of their brilliant creations. If not, be prepared for yummy milk-chocolate "hemorrhoid candy" or the new fruity flavored "ulcer gum." Maybe it is just me (and I don't think it is...), but basing a candy product on any portion of the digestive tract just might be the most ridiculous candy I have ever seen.
Thanks Pamela for scooping this one out and for being willing to go back to the store with your camera to get a picture of this yummy treat. Your commitment to insuring quality in theMangoTimes is unparalleled (and unchallenged) to this point!
Quietly making noise,
Fletch

Ridiculous Candy #6 - Toilet Candy

Photo Courtesy Pomaleedon

I suppose it is time to add a category for guest submissions, because this ridiculous candy was found by Pamela and company. Not much really needs to be said about this candy, except for the obvious: a candy plunger is used to scoop the sugar crystals from inside the toilet. Hmmm...I think I taste a little throw-up in my mouth... It's one thing if you want to turn necklaces into candy or even a candy toothbrush, but toilet contents? I'm not sure I need another area of my life to remember/forget to put the seat down.
But you know what would make this even more fun? If it was pop-rocks inside the toilet. That way it could simulate a toilet explosion/plumbing problems. Regardless, this is just plain ridiculous.

Quietly making noise,
Fletch