Quietly, Quietly, Quietly Making Noise…since 1995

Summer Polo Underway…

Here are a few pictures from this weekend’s Junior Olympic qualifying tournament in Sacramento. To see the rest of the pictures, check out my smugmug photo gallery.

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Nate at full speed

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Stretching out the pass

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Jack finding a passing lane!

Quietly Making Noise,
Fletch

On My iPod - Artists Beginning with “M”

monkeeI haven’t followed up with this theme lately, but wanted to resurrect the topic again. Here is a small sample of my favorite music on my iPod.

“The Monkees” - I’m a child of the 1970’s and the Monkees crossed over between music and television. I wanted to ride the Last Train to Clarkesville. I wanted to be a Believer. I “was just tryin’ to be friendly”…

“Michael Feinstein” - We own several of his albums, but my favorite is his collection of classic kids songs like “Lydia the Tattoo Lady” and “Ferdinand the Bull.”

“Miles Davis” - Every collection needs a bit of Miles. Right now, I’m listening to “So What” but anything on my playlist by him is great stuff!

“Men Without Hats” - There was really only one song…and every teenager from the eighties knew how to sing The Safety Dance. “S…S…S…S… A…A…A…A… F…F…F…F…etc…” (You are singing it right now aren’t you?).

“Musical Youth” - Again not to camp on the eighties, but every time this song is played my kids want to know what it means to “Pass the Dutchie.” Growing up it was just a cool song, it’s only now that I found out it was about smoking.

“Matt Costa” - This is a gimme…with his clean vocals and great acoustic guitar, he’s a family favorite on the back porch. Hop in one of the hammocks, pop on his song “Sunshine” and I’m down for the count.

Quietly Making Noise,
Fletch

Fun at Fletcher Dentistry

I posted this a few days ago on facebook, but thought I would include it here for theMT vault.

Quietly Making Noise,
Fletch

Forest Monster

I recently found this video. I still laugh everytime I see it. What a funny guy!

Quietly Making Noise,
Fletch

Dunk a Dentist

The word on the street is that my best friend Eric is hosting the Riverbend Ranch Charity Carnival this Saturday (6/13/09) at his place. I even hear there is going to be a dunk tank with the chance to dunk local celebrities. Well, maybe not celebrities exactly, but you will be able to dunk your favorite pirate-speaking, blog-writing, blender-spinning dentist. Now is the time to get all of your brushing and flossing aggression out… Come support the carnival, help them raise money and enjoy the opportunity you will be given to get me soaked!

Quietly Making Noise,
Fletch

Troast FollowUp

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If you click on the magazine cover to the left, you will link to a fun little article that appeared in Wisconsin Trails Magazine about Jon Troast and the concert we hosted at our house last month!

Quietly Making Noise,
Fletch

8 Kids - How do you afford it?

Almost everyday at the office I’m asked: How do you afford all those kids?

I can understand why I am being asked, but as a dad to eight I need to mention that this really is not one of the major family life issues. Getting dressed for church? Now that takes some doing…

Here’s the deal, Kendra and I have made choices throughout our marriage that make life financially feasible. From career choices, to housing choices, to savings, to when/where/how we spend our money, we’ve been purposeful.

Let me give you an example: My career. I chose early in my career to not work exorbitant hours, I’m not so focused on my career that I work myself into the ground and I learned at very early to not make money my main pursuit. God has led us through lean years and years of abundance in my practice. I have never lacked for new patients or enough business. Over the past decade, we have found that God will always provide what we need.

Likewise, Kendra and I are not spend-thrifts. Except for technology, we are content with last year’s model and don’t need the latest and greatest thing.

But, one of the main reasons we can afford our large family is that my wife is a very wise steward of our household budget. She recently blogged on frugality and wise shopping. She is really good at it. Enjoy her first three posts here:
Frugality, the Grocery Bill, and the Large Family, Part One
Frugality, the Grocery Bill, and the Large Family, Part Two
Frugality, the Grocery Bill and the Large Family, Part Three
Quietly Making Noise,
Fletch

Sharing the Gospel…so others can be just like me!

If you are prone to being offended by my commentary on the church, either redirect your browser to somewhere less controversial or feel free to go here and pick up a few items for the stoning that I sense is heading my way.

Maybe it is just me, but I’ve noticed recently that most Christians I know are not sharing the gospel anymore. Well, they are sharing something…it’s just not the gospel. Seriously…it just seems like most of the Christians I know are not telling anyone the good news of (whispering…) Jesus…Christ.

wait“Hold on there Fletch…are you saying what I think you are saying? You pointing fingers? Publically? On your blog? You don’t know of any Christians sharing the gospel? Well, listen here, Mr. MangoTimes big-mouth…I think you are full of peach juice and limeade! I know plenty of Christians that are out there telling others about what they believe. These are good home-schooling families…doctrinally sound…conservative folks…with obedient, well-tempered children…that know the gospel inside and out…and they are out in the world regularly sharing their beliefs. How is it that you don’t see that from your lofty perch in Mangoland?”

I know a lot of these folks too and before you start lobbing quarry rocks, listen to what I’m actually saying.

I said that I don’t see many Christians sharing the gospel. I didn’t say they weren’t busy sharing what they believe. They are definitely busy…only they are busy sharing a LIFESTYLE. There is an enormous difference between sharing a lifestyle and sharing the gospel. One message is based on what HAS BEEN DONE for you and the other is steeped in what YOU MUST DO. Can you see the difference?

There are plenty of individuals and families out sharing what they believe. I’ve heard friends passionately share their belief in homeschooling. I’ve heard people share how they arrived at allowing God to bless them with a quiverful of children. I’ve heard parents share why they believe in worshiping corporately with their kids. Some believe in the perfect liturgy. Others believe in what they deem proper music. There are those that share what they believe to be right about their denomination. Others have strong beliefs in their version of the Bible. Some believe strongly in the correct political party. Today’s Christians believe in their list of the really bad sins. They believe in what they deem proper modest attire. They believe in the perfect curriculum. They believe in their theology. The list could go on and on of what they believe and how they practice their faith and they are bold messengers of what they think and how they live!

These “lifestyle evangelists” are not sharing the gospel! Their time and their focus is given to convincing others to follow them and to adopt their choices. Instead of providing hope to the hopeless, they encourage others to “be the same as them and DO the same as them.” Know what I mean? It goes something like this: “We’re Christians…we follow Christ…let me show you how we live our lives and why we’ve made these choices in life,” instead of “We follow Christ, let me tell you who He is and what He did!”

I realize that I am oversimplifying things here, but that is how we do things at theMangoTimes. We provide gross generalizations and leave it to you to refine our comments and find the truth in what is being said. In general, I don’t find anything wrong in sharing your life with others, I do it here on theMangoTimes regularly. But, it’s not the gospel, it has no power in and of itself to save you or spare you. It might help and improve your life, but that’s not the gospel! As Christians, our instructions were not to convert people to a lifestyle of modern evangelicalism or rigid orthodoxy, we were instructed to share the good news and to give others a reason for the hope we have.

Lastly, I’m not stupid. I recognize that there are some believers who know and speak of the gospel regularly, only I see them doing that typically with other Christians. Don’t get me wrong, I believe the gospel needs to be repeated to believers (regularly!) and that’s one of the reasons I am a huge advocate of weekly communion. It gives both believers and unbelievers hope.f

How about you? Are you busy telling others the good news of Christ’s finished work on the cross? His redemption of sinners? Or have you fallen into the trap of sharing a lifestyle with others? One has the power to save, the other is just busy work!

I guess what I’m saying is that more folks(myself included) need to share less of their own story and their own lifestyle choices, and share more of Christ’s story and more of his lifestyle.

***UPDATE***
Kelly’s comment below led me back to her site where I read this post. It’s a great little video about Penn Gillette (Penn and Teller) and his interaction with a Christian after a show. It’s worth the watch!

Quiely Making Noise,
Fletch

A Review: The Purpose of Boys

Like other blogs, theMangoTimes has been asked to read and review books by different publishers. For the most part, I am asked to review books based on faith, family and children, yet I continue to remind the publishers that my reviews will always stem from a purely biblical perspective. Since most of the books I’ve been asked to review come from secular writers, it’s obvious I won’t always be in agreement, but I always do my best to find items that I think will be beneficial to readers of theMangoTimes.

I recently finished reading the book “The Purpose of Boys” by family therapist, Michael Gurian. This book is part three of a trilogy of books by the same author on the same topic. I did not have the opportunity to read the first two books, so I cannot comment on the overall theme that the author was creating, so my review is only of this book.

Overall
The intent of this book was to help parents answer the question: “What is the purpose of boys?” While working through this question, the author also tries to provide tools for the day-to-day questions that boys and parents of boys face.
In eight chapters, Gurian offers a collection of research, scientific evidence and practical suggestions for parents and mentors of boys. It was a very easy read. The research included was well presented and relevant to the topic discussed. It was presented in an easy to understand format that included both narrative and graphic information. The author’s opinions and conclusions were based not solely on the statistical evidence included, but on his own experience as a family therapist and observer. Did I like the book? Well, when it comes to parenting, fathering, or the raising of boys, I’m not one to suggest a secular book based on psychological research (more on that below), but for what it is worth, the book was a useful read and I did find some good practical help.

What Did I Take Away?
Let me begin by the basic outline of the book. I somewhat agreed with the first chapter which touched on the basic fact that boys without guidance and direction can and most likely will end up aimless. Scripture says that where there is a lack of vision, the people will perish. The same can be said of boys that are raised in vision-less homes. I see plenty of “adultulescents” today that fail to mature into contributing members of church or society. The following chapters contain a wealth of scientific evidence about the development of boys. Since I lean heavily on the sufficiency of scripture, the “evidence” from science or psychology will always be informative to me, but not life changing. Real life change comes from applying the truth of God’s Word to your life. Where science and scripture meet, I’m supportive…yet in my view, Scripture always wins! The final chapters were complete with insightful and contained practical strategies for raising boys. So, my favorite sections of this book were the questions included at the end of each chapter. This was the nuts/bolts of the book.

The reader is encouraged to engage his son/boy in dialogue over several weeks. The author also recommends more people get involved with these questions (grandfathers, mothers, uncles, etc…) I have nothing but praise for that advice.

Here are a few of the questions to jump start the conversation with the young man in your life:
What is the most important thing you did today?
What is the role of a man in today’s world?
What are the ways a man loves his family?
Who are your heroes? Why?
How do you want to help people?
Who is relying upon you right now for help, are you helping them?
What parts of life must you manage better to succeed?
When you think about the future, what scares you most?
What are your core values?

I guess what I liked about the questions, is that they are varied. These are not the questions we take on with our boys. As one who likes to engage his sons in good dialogue, I loved them.

What Did Not Work For Me?
Gurian states in his introduction that the mission upon us as we raise boys is this: “Nothing less than to help each boy develop into a creative spirit, a trustworthy friend, moral leader, and meaningful man.” Again, I tend to yield to the truth of God’s Word. Scripture declares that our mission for raising young men is to raise them in the fear and admonition of the Lord, so that they realize what the catechism mentions as their chief end: “to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.”

For a secular book from a secular author, I can accept it for that. But, I’m not looking at the secular book industry for help in raising my boys. It just is not the position I begin with when seeking help raising my sons. As a believer, I’ve been given a treasure chest of information. The Bible is fantastic, but most people that crack it open for the first time may be overwhelmed in what they find. Where should they begin? What should they read? Old or New Testament? There are 66 books and that can lead to a lot of choices.

Here’s a suggestion: King Solomon has been called the wisest man that ever lived. He also happened to write one of the books of the Bible. Solomon not only wrote the book of Proverbs, but he wrote it specifically to a certain audience. He wrote it to his sons, so that they might know how to live and how to think and how to react. So, whereas the author of “The Purpose of Boys” does a great job combining data and opinion to help the reader “guide their sons into finding meaning, significance and direction in their lives,” King Solomon wrote a book that was 31 chapters long to teach his son’s how to seek and attain true wisdom. Between the two, I’d choose Proverbs anyday…

Rank: 4 out of 5 mangoes
Recommendation: Great data and information provided. The practical advice given is immediately useful and well thought out. Personally, I would stick to God’s word as my source of advice on raising young men, but author Michael Gurian makes sense with his research and experience.

Quietly Making Noise,
Fletch

A Day At The Beach

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“Neon Houses”

Last week, my family (excluding dad, Christian, and Joe) took the three-hour journey to Capitola Beach. Sort of a learning/fun field trip thing, just without the learning part of it. And it wasn’t exactly a field trip either…more of like a spontaneous, one day vacation. As if that doesn’t sound like something my parents would do…

Anyway, as I was saying, we went to the beach. I basically spent the entire day either standing in the water (I’ll get to that later), or taking pictures, which I have a lot of. So, that being the case, I think that instead of doing an actual full-length, put-a-lot-of-time-into-it post, I will just post pictures and give brief explanations for them. So, here we go…

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This is Nate. He spent his day reading, walking up and down the beach, and standing on this drain. The drain that he is standing on is only visible for about 50 feet, before it is covered by sand. It travels underground to a little stream, the water from which runs out the drain and into the ocean. The stream itself is labeled as “toxic” (the sign says so). Maybe standing on top of the drain from it isn’t such a good idea…:P

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This is Caroline. She spent her entire day running around, screaming, throwing mudballs, eating chocolate, and playing in the waves. Yes, I know; she is a typical 8 year old. If you look behind her, you will see a lot of rocks. That is because, for some reason, on this particular day, the beach was covered in rocks. Big rocks, little rocks, red rocks, stripey rocks, they were all there. Some of us spent a good deal of time throwing the rocks.

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This is Annesley. She is one of the people who spent their time throwing rocks. She also ran around, screamed, threw mudballs, ate chocolate, and played in the waves. I stood next to her as she threw rocks, and every time a wave would come near her, she would shriek and run about ten feet away, then run back and jump into the receding wave. She did this for about ten minutes, throwing rocks all the while. Her description of this? “Oh my goodness! This is…hilarious!” Don’t ask me why it was “hilarious,” but apparently it was…I think the fact that she labeled it “hilarious” is in and of itself hilarious.

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While I sat and watched the hilariousness of it all, I decided to be like Kate from Lost and sink. If you stand in one spot for a long enough amount of time, the sand covers your feet while ripping away the sand from under you, and you “sink.” I tried to convince Annesley to do it as well…she lasted about 4 seconds before running off to grab another rock.

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Sinking got boring after a while (I may have a longer attention span than a 5 year old, but deep down we both were searching for something more exciting), so I walked down the beach and started taking photos of various things.

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“The Perfect Beach Chairs”

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I think moving the pier was a good idea, don’t you?

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They have the flu…

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The Official “Worst Sign on the Beach”

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“Neon Houses Again”

Anyway, we eventually got around to leaving the beach (after a lot of pain and crying filled sand removal). We spent about 2 hours walking around Capitola, exploring the various shops and restaurants. A few things were bought (necklaces and such, and a Spongebob Squarepants calendar), but the main reason was to kill the time we had left on our parking meter.

After our fill of seashells and trinkets, we all piled back in the car and headed to what my mom called “not as good as Phil’s, but they do make good clam chowder.” Erik’s DeliCafe was the restaurant, and even for a vegetarian, it was m-m-good. Set as like a western style saloon, it had an old telephone, a rifle, old bullet-shot signs, and cattle horns:

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“Cowboy” Jack

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“I Want Horns Too!”

Yes, we try to have fun everywhere we go, even in a restaurant. Those photos are totally a MangoTimes thing…

So, all in all, we had an absolute ball. I mean, come on…it’s the beach? How could it not have been fun?

Quietly making noise,
Hayden