Parental Myths #5: Eyesight and Television

Parental Myth #5  "You Will Go Blind If You Sit Too Close To The Television"

I hate to overwork all of the eyesight myths, but it appears that your parents have again given you all some rather poor advice in the area of vision protection.

No.  You won't go blind. Your eyes may become fatigued due to over stimulation of the rods and cones by bright lights, but you most definitely will not go blind. I don't know the fascination with sitting close to the television anyhow. (Same people that enjoy the front row at the theatre, I guess). It is much more enjoyable from a distance, but then again, I don't believe anyone should be watching enough tv to warrant ocular fatigue. (Okay, go ahead and say it. "Fletch, you know more about television shows than anyone I know"). True, I was privledged to see my share of television as a child and young adult (the 1970's were a fantastic decade of television and movies), but as an adult I realize that tv is an enormous "couch potato waste of time.."

Furthermore, sitting close to a tv is no different from sitting too close to your computer monitor as you read this blog. (Don't get snarky with me...).


Click here to read the other parental myths exposed!

Quietly making noise,
Fletch

Parental Myths #4: Eyesight and Dim Light

Parental Myth #4 : You Will Ruin Your Eyesight By Reading in Dim Light

No. No. No. And again, I say "No."  You may ask yourself, "Why is Fletch so adamant about this seemingly harmless myth?"  Well, if you were raised in my house, you could understand my need to educate the world about adequate indoor lighting levels.  You see, I have a father, whom upon entering a room and finding the current occupant of that room performing an activity in which he judges to be "low light," would begin to flick every switch he could find in order to flood the room with enough light to warm food.  At the same time, he would quip, "Hey, let me turn some lights on, so you don't hurt your eyes."  I'm not kidding.  If available, I think my dad would have purchased stadium lights from Candlestick Park (for those who don't remember, this was the original SF 49er/Giant playing field).  For most of my childhood, I felt like a Big Mac sitting under a heat lamp whenever I attempted to study.

Maybe some of you cannot relate to this myth and maybe this is specific to my father.  He has a lighting fixation.  I don't think he needs to get counseling or anything, but almost every area of my parent's house (inside and outside) is controlled by motion sensor light switches.  He looks like a wounded seagull flapping his arms as he walks around the house trying to get the "sensor" to notice him.

And, for those of you who wish to challenge this point about light quantity and visual pathology, this month I found an actual medical source.  My neighbor, an ophthalmologist, offers the following, "...reading in low light will in no way harm your vision, but instead may cause eye strain...."

Before concluding, I am including two funny stories that will finish my discussion of "low light eye damage."  Here they are :  First, from my sis-in-law, "I was so excited to hear of your most recent myth-buster, because my dad actually had this one right and always said that reading in low light was as bad for your eyes as listening to soft music is bad for your ears."  (my comment: ...and eating bland food is bad for your tongue?).  Second, from a friend in Chico, CA who was also plagued by a father that dedicated portions of his life to illumination.  When told to turn a light on during reading...."my standard surly teenage remark was, "I don't believe Abe Lincoln went blind"  (you know the grade school story of him reading by candle light when everyone else had gone to bed)."


Click here to read the other parental myths exposed!

Quietly making noise,
Fletch

Parental Myths #3: Knuckle Popping

Okay, so far I have dispelled the following myths : 1. You do not need to wait 20 minutes after eating to go into the pool and 2. It is "digestively" okay to chew AND SWALLOW a stick of gum without it clogging a major organ. and that brings me to my third parental myth:



Parental Myth #3 : Cracking or popping your knuckles will lead to arthritis, stiff joints, or "loose tendons."

Again, just figure that your parents did not want to exert the effort required to actually research this one and because they a) didn't like the noise and b)never learned to pop their own knuckles (jealousy) - they simply forbid you from popping your knuckles, and c, "it's not lady-like." (This chimed in from my dear sweet wife, who is still going through therapy sessions to deal with the gum-swallowing and knuckle popping threats she received as a child) .

Like most parental myths, they should have just told the truth. But, parents make the mistake to first forbid the behavior, then they add insult to injury by making up a ridiculous lie like, "if you pop your knuckles, you'll have arthritis by the time you're a teenager." If they really want a one way ticket to hell they may even throw in the old favorite "angel threat."  I have come to realize that many people are unaware of the "angel threat." It goes something like this, "you know, if an angel flies over while you pop your knuckles, you'll break them right off." Aside from really bad theology, this is where their arguments eventually trip them up and they begin to implicate themselves into a lie by giving too much information (a lot like the celebrity guest stars on any Columbo episode).

No, no, no, the popping or cracking of knuckles is merely an alteration of air within the inter-joint compartments, creating a popping or snapping sound. Tendons are not stretched. bones are not rubbed together. And cartilidge is not torn or destroyed. As a matter of fact, I just popped my knuckles before typing this letter.


Click here to read the other parental myths exposed!

Quietly making noise,
Fletch

Parental Myths #2: Swallowing chewing gum

This new section apparently hit home with many from my generation (that's the generation in between hearing parental myths and actually using parental myths). Several readers responded to the myth regarding the 30 minute digestion time needed prior to swimming. My prayers go out to all of you that have lost valuable pool time due to these false teachings spewed forth from our parents.  This brings us to my second myth.

Parental Myth #2: Swallowing Chewing Gum Clogs Your Intestines and/or Takes Several Years To Digest.

Personally, I have been informed that a wad of chewing gum may take up to 7 years to digest. Once again, I have one question : Are parents insane? Your stomach consists of highly corrosive acid. It has the ability to destroy metallic substances of all kinds. But, as always, parents do not attempt to pass this myth onto the college educated child. They choose, instead, to "drop this bomb" on us when we are in first or second grade and have no access to honest medical literature. Not only that, most young school children have only one mental reference for clogged digestion. That's right...the girl from Willy Wonka that turned into the big blueberry after eating the gum. And she was scary.  Of course you are going to freak out little kids with these myths.  who wants to turn into a blueberry?  Also, what's with the seven years?  Why is that some magical number of years for digestion?  I know there are probably a whole bunch of 7 year olds freaking out about their 14th birthday when they will finally "pass" the wads of BubbleYum they've been gulping down over the years.

So, once again, let me free you from this myth. Tonight, go home and chew a pack of big red or juicy fruit.  When you are finished, swirl it over the back of your tongue and gulp it down.


Click here to read the other parental myths exposed!

Quietly making noise,
Fletch

Parental Myths #1: Swimming and Eating

There are a variety of myths that parents use to frighten or dissuade their children from certain behaviors.  Several years ago, when I wrote theMT on a monthly basis, I took the opportunity to comment on these myths.  I have chosen to republish these myths here on this blog to again make the stand for truth.  I am hoping to prevent the mental trauma on another generation of American children.  Note: this is commentary, not medical advice

Parental Myths #1 : It Is Unsafe To Swim After Eating Food

First, let's look at how our parents reasoned this myth : they will tell you that some kid, somewhere (Illinois or Ohio, it doesn't really matter), drowned in the pool after eating. Apparently, cramping can occur, thus causing your muscles to somehow "lock" and you sink to the bottom of whatever body of water you inhabit. (NOTE THIS ABOUT PARENTAL MYTHS : Parents can never provide any details!).
It's always "some kid" and the end result is either:
a) death
b) his stomach was pumped
c) he was disfigured
d) he must spend the rest of his life touring schools and telling them what he did was wrong).

Now, there is no scientific reasoning behind this theory and it is merely used to keep kids out of the pool for 20-30 minutes. Personally, I can remember watching the clock and gradually placing more and more of my body in the water until "the 30 minutes" were up.

How about this statement: "I'm not gonna swim. I'm just going to go in the water and stand there perfectly still."  Yup, used that one through most of the 1970's.

My conclusion, like most parental myths, there is no fact behind this water + food = cramps and drowning. Parents have just never been challenged by kids that know any better...

Click here to read the other parental myths exposed!

Quietly making noise,
Fletch