A tribute to the good ol' days - which in my life was the 1970's...
I don't believe there were really 2 scoops of raisins in every box of Raisin Bran? But, as a kid growing up in the 70's , I believed that Kelloggs hired some employee to sit on an assembly line and pour exactly 2 scoops of raisins into each box.
One of my favorite childhood cereals was "Fruity Pebbles." Multi-colored fruity flavored rice krispies and loaded with sugar - what's not to like about those? There is an interesting point to be made here - the whole concept of the "pebble" cereal they were trying to push. You can actually eat real tiny pebbles in the form of "Grape Nuts." Honestly...this stuff could easily have been marketed as "Gravel Nuts" since the inclusion of the word grape is totally confusing to little kids thinking they are going to get grape flavored purple cereal. And nothing tops off grape nuts better than little chunks of hay (aka Shredded wheat). Blech! Who eats this stuff?
I am really supportive of truth in adverstising. That's why I was frustrated with the Grape Nuts name and probably why I really liked "Sugar Smacks." You knew exactly what you were getting here - no hiding behind fancy names like "Apple Jacks" or "Fruit Loops." Right off the bat you knew the prime ingrediant was going to be sugar and it was going to be lip-smackin' good - plain and simple. (Note: This cereal has since been changed to Honey Smacks....yeah right). My runner-up in truthful name branding is "Cookie Crisp". Again, no question about what you're eating here....but, why not just recommend a bowl of Oreos in milk? Yes, I know they have a version of Oreo cereal, but that is not what I am recommending. I mean the real oreos). The more I think about it, with any of these you could save the time and just have a bowl of sugar and milk.
"Cocoa Puffs" was/is also a really cool cereal. If you remember, when you were done you got chocolate milk. That was great - sugar cereal followed by a sugary chocolate drink. Brilliant cereal wizards at that factory!
Then there were "Alpha Bits. " The basic idea here was the opportunity to teach your kids how to spell at the breakfast table (yeah, that's what I like to do when I'm eating cereal). Why not teach your kids Latin with "Latin-Bits", or an entire math lesson with "Algebra-Bits"? if you think about it, this is the type of cereal that homeschooling mothers would develop if they were given a chance to make cereal.
It goes without mention that I loved "Trix." But what was with the slogan? "Trix are for Kids!" Right. Like we needed reminding that a multi-colored cereal being marketed by a cartoon rabbit was for kids. My all time favorite to this day is"Cap'n Crunch." Believe me when I say that it is good, but with the additions of Crunch Berries or peanut butter, it gets better. I'm not sure they really needed the abbreviation? Personally,I liked to mix it with Alpha Bits so i could learn to spell "captain" properly.
I have some ideas for new cereals : "Political Chex" (this comes in multiple flavors - but none of them really taste good, "Microsoft Flakes" (stale cereal that everyone eats, but wishes they could have MacFlakes instead), "Colorado Shredded Weed" (the cereal that keeps you hungry for more), "Special H" (strikingly similar to "Preparation H" so it will keep people wondering), and my personal favorite "Soggy Brown Rings" (dont' forget, I like truthful advertising).
Quietly making noise,
***Originally posted March 24th, 2006. This blog post needed some updating.