I realize that I may be skating on thin ice here. I realize that all of my kids like PEZ, Seinfeld did a show that referenced PEZ, and there are probably a few readers who have collected PEZ dispensers. None of this negates the fact that this is bad candy, plain and simple.
Let's also not forget the fact that its delivery system is based on a ridiculous concept. PEZ tablets in any other situation would be considered cheap medicine candy, and their flavor mimics that of a Flintstones vitamin. I'm certain that the ingredients list is probably one step away from Halls Cough Drops. But, my loyal reader, my point is not to review their horrible chalky sweet taste but to comment on the fact that this candy is just plain ridiculous.
I ask you, in what situation is it considered normal to snap someone's (be it human or cartoon) head back and pull a tasty candy out of their throat? These are for the Jeffrey Dahmers that roam the candy aisle. These are a step away from being marketed as "Tasty Tracheotomy Tablets." Really, the only cool thing about the candy was the actual dispenser, and that was only because they came in a bunch of different characters and had an element of danger to it. My friend Rusty Dobbs was trying to get a wedged PEZ out of his Snoopy dispenser and he got his tongue stuck in the mousetrap mechanism inside... I'm still scarred from that experience. We are a sick society that offers a Pavlovian reward for snapping TweetyBirds' neck back to his shoulders. I'll bet you five bucks that when the final report came out on Columbine High School, you will read that those two boys were addicted to PEZ.
Quietly making noise,
Fletch