By now you have probably heard of Harold Camping. He is known around the internet as "that crazy guy" whose organization has spent close to a bajillion dollars announcing that the world will end on Saturday, May 21st 2011. Actually, to be specific, Camping says the world won't end until October 21st. On May 21st, all the true Christians will be raptured (kind of like a heavenly vacuum process) leaving only unbelievers to wait for the end of the world to arrive just before Halloween 2011. (Dang! Kendra and I were going to dress up as Angelina and Brad this year!).
Anyhow, in light of this cuckoo bird and his predictions, I thought it would be fun to give some advice to all of you who are actually planning on being around on the day AFTER the big rapture.
Here is theMangoTimes TOP TEN Things To Do on May 22nd, 2011:
NUMBER 10: Wake up and eat post-apocalyptic french toast covered with butter, real syrup and powdered sugar (I know, this could be an entry on every top-ten list you ever read on theMangoTimes, because eating french toast is just so dang good). Seriously. Do it.
NUMBER 9: Open your favorite Bible and read it through from cover to cover. Along the way, use a big green pen and circle the word "rapture" every time you read it. If you don't find the word "rapture", read the entire bible again...slower.
NUMBER 8: Call your best friend and tell them, "Hey, I just read the entire Bible twice and guess what, the word rapture isn't even in there! Weird huh?" Then, put away your green pen.
NUMBER 7: Go to The Gap and buy a pair of really comfortable jeans for your new post-rapture life.
NUMBER 6: Seriously. Go make one of these very cool things and smile. Actually, this has nothing with the end of the world. You can do this any time you want. Do me a favor though. Once you have created your own, come back here and post a link to your own version in the comments section on this post, pretty please!
NUMBER 5: Call up your favorite dispensationalist and play some Church Music for them.
NUMBER 4: Log on to facebook. Update the following: "Is anyone still here?"
NUMBER 3: Purchase LEFT BEHIND - THE DVD
NUMBER 2: Go get a cool Christian tattoo on your wrist that says "Matt 24:36" (this one is actually a cool idea if you put it where your watch would normally go).
and the NUMBER 1 Thing You Should Do on May 22nd, 2011:
Go to church. It's Sunday, afterall. I recommend going here: Redeemer Church, Modesto. Believe me, even after the rapture, it will still be packed at the 9 and 11AM services, so get there early! This week's topic: Sex in the Gospel Centered Marriage.
Quietly making noise,
Fletch