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Apr132009
Facebook, Part 1 - The Church
Monday, April 13, 2009 at 12:29PM Disclaimer: After posting this a few days ago, I had a good friend email me privately. He was concerned that this post had the potential of undermining families who don't use facebook or iPhones and reminded me that I have the potential of causing division in a family by making parents look silly. I've never thrown an addendum to theMT before, but I really like this guy and his advice...so, I am adding this preface...just to make sure you know that I am not evaluating you, your family, or your decisions based on whether or not you write a blog, own an iPhone or use facebook. If you insist on reading this post and still think I'm poking you with a stick, please go here and decide if this is where you should spend your web time. Quietly Making Noise, Fletch
I've been on facebook since last year and really love the connections it has provided. I've purposely waited to write a post, and I'm glad because here at theMangoTimes we've found at least three separate discussions. In part one, I want to discuss how it has affected the church. In part two, I want to tackle the reconnection with my past. Finally, in part three, I want to share how it has affected our family (which actually has a tie-in to parts one and two).Let me begin with stating that I've found a unique function of facebook as it has played out in the church (or our church, more specifically).
We attend a church with a membership of families that live 60-70 miles in each direction from where we gather for Sunday worship. (Why would people travel that far for church? I'm not sure, but between you and me...it's either the yummy communion bread or more likely it is Dani's Chocolate Chip Cookies). So, getting together in the middle of the week for many of these families won't happen and with a stressed economy...sometimes the cost of fuel makes a double commute impossible! Furthermore, since our church rents a facility for worship on Sundays, there is no great option for a central meeting place in the middle of the week.
In my opinion, this does TWO things. First, developing relationships becomes more difficult in a geographically diverse congregation. Second, I believe it actually works to create a sense of cliquishness. Whether these "cliques" actually exist or not, the "out-of-town" crowd can feel like the "in-town crowd" is getting together regularly for fellowship between Sundays. To some extent this is true, but not intentional. Local families do seem to experience more spontaneous drop-by visits and naturally they see each other more frequently at mutual events (sports, recitals, meals, etc...), again, this is largely based on proximity.
For the past five years, our reaction to this challenge has been to provide extended fellowship times on Sundays. We have a weekly lunch/potluck that allows for fellowship into the afternoon. Many local families also host commuting families after church or occasionally the night before. For the past five years, this is what we've done to help shorten the physical and relational distance among families.
Here's where facebook comes in.
In the last six months, I've seen several responses to facebook from families in the church and if I had a black Sharpie marker I could draw a fairly accurate line through the church of the lovers and haters of facebook. My intent in this post is to focus on the positive aspects of facebook and how it plays out in the church, but allow me to briefly speculate why some in the church would be opposed to the use of this technology.I really don't have much to say, but my best guess would be that their opinion stems from fear (although I think they would call it concern).
Like message-boards, email, text-messaging, twitter, and blogs (especially blogs like theMangoTimes), facebook is perceived as another way that our technology saturated culture has raised an evil face in the church. This fear goes beyond the basic complaints of being a "time wasting" activity or even a "self-promotional" activity. No, this is the kind of fear that accuses fellow Christians of swinging on the monkey bars of the world's playground.Those of us here at theMangoTimes have a slightly different perspective (don't we always?). I always want to look at the flip-side...Is there any good coming out of the evil facebook empire for the church?
Well, if you read my introduction about how our church is challenged to geographically be together each week beyond Sundays, you might sense where I'm going to go with all of this. I have seen the exact opposite. I've seen our church family become MORE involved in each others lives. Conversations on Sunday are now based on what people have read throughout the week on each other's updates or tweets. Suddenly, even I've become much more aware of peoples likes, their dislikes, where they are going, and what they are doing. I know when birthdays and anniversaries take place. With photos, I have even begun to learn the names of people I might only see for a few moments on Sunday. Prayer requests are shared. Answers to prayer reported and updated instantaneously...and the list goes on.
But what about the youth? It seems we are constantly worried that our youth have been wooed by the world, right? I've found facebook to level the playing field in that arena as well. For a church like ours that does not segregate according to age, this is yet another environment for adults and young adults to communicate with one another.
More and more young people (in and out of the church) are using facebook, text-messaging and twitter as their primary source for communication, so I've found that entering that world only provides more access to reaching them and communicating with them. It certainly occurs on Sunday and in one-on-one discipleship, but these other means serve as a useful adjunct to reaching our young adults.All this to say, I'm not ignorant. I still think there is a level of safety and concern to be demonstrated with facebook. I think that if you are prone to wasting time online, then facebook is probably not a wise use of your time and effort. However, for a large majority, I'm finding relationships develop and strengthen because of a simple site like facebook.
Andy is quietly making noise,
Fletch
To read this entire series of posts:
Part One - Facebook, Part 1 - The Church
Part Two - Facebook, Part 2 - The Past
Part Three - Facebook Part 3 - Our Family
Part Four - Facebook Part 4 - The Phenomenon
Reader Comments (15)
I really enjoyed your post and agree that Facebook can be a great way to get to know people but I was a bit disurbed by your "yummy communion bread " comment. As a Christian I think that Communion should be taken very seriously - it is not a church time snack. I pray that I took your comment out of contex - I feel society has begun to act irresponsible with the what God has given us and turned it into a meaningless ritual. I am not trying to offend just sharing my opinion.
In case you were wondering I happened upon your blog via Paul D @ Boundaries & Bridges.
God Bless,
Chuck
Thanks for stopping by Chuck. http://www.themangotimes.com/?page_id=7" rel="nofollow">No offense taken...see here
Although the post had nothing to do with communion, let me assure you that it is impossible for me to communicate on theMT how reverently we treat the sacraments in our church...our entire liturgy builds to the covenant meal. I believe that Word and Sacrament exist together as a clear declaration of the gospel message. It is celebrated weekly and corporately. It is a distinct means of grace and as liturgical Reformed Presbyterians we overemphasize what communion means, what the elements symbolize and why you should partake. So, I apologize for leading you to believe and conclude that I think it is merely snack time for the church.
On the other hand...it is fresh baked communion bread...and like the wine we serve with it... it is by far the best you've ever tasted!
Hey, Fletch! I've not been bashful about my feelings concerning Facebook at church. I'm definitely on the "Facebook is evil" side of the fence, though I say that rather tongue in cheek, even in real life. My husband and daughter both enjoy FB, and I do not really think that's it's "evil". I think it's great that you've seen the things you've seen, especially as it pertains to the church. I think that the FB connection is helping folks stay more in touch during the week, and that's a good thing. Speaking, though, from the standpoint of being one of the families that lives a goodly distance from church (I think we're the northernmost family), I've not seen what you're seeing on Sundays. I think that FB is, instead, hindering folks from forming close relationships in person. Sorry, I didn't mean to be so wordy. Perhaps I should head to the kitchen and see if Dani has made any cookies......
Thank you for adding to my case.
I'm working my ways trying to get an iphone out of Mike.
FB is much easier and faster when mobile. And here at the MT I have another good reason I would benefit from an iphone. Good thing he reads MT - let's see if he reads the comments too.
:)
Cheryl...
Yes, that was a lot of words.
I'm used to the 140 character maximum allowed on facebook. :)
Clarifying...I am referring to those that demonize facebook merely because it is something popular in our culture (along with Jack Bauer, iPhones, and blogging). As we make another connection and find a new opportunity to present the simple gospel message through facebook, we will often sarcastically shake our heads and say, "oh...that evil...evil...facebook."
I think of facebook as a form of "micro blogging." So, I'd be interested in knowing if you believe blogging has the same effect on the church? Does a blog also hinder people from forming close relationships in person?
On the other hand, this may just be my stage in life with a bucket load of kids, where taking the time to forge deep relationships in the church just is not available. So, I find myself keeping up to date much easier with facebook updates. I may not have the time on Sunday to get the surgery update, but throughout the week I've had a daily update on the current diagnosis. Likewise, I have a real time list of needs/requests from our missionaries in Russia.
Regardless...thanks for your comments, they are always welcome...
Dana...nice try!
Mike is on to you...
I have found it to be great for those conversations that are hard to get started. You know the ones where the saint is a fellow church member and therefore you love them but chatting it up does not come super naturally. With the updates I can waltz right up and ask about whatever with confidence.
It would be different if we were having these connections all throughout the week at the well or while getting our (literal) daily bread. The fact is that today we don't bump into fellow church members. So FB is a great way to do that. And I like it that others can "listen in" on those conversations seeing the good fruit of a Godly community.
Yep, I think blogging can, and does, have the same effect. See? I can even keep within Twitter word limits. ;)
I figured I drop in and give you my status update on the whole FB thing... I totally agree with what you said! I have become "friends" with church folks I just never get to chat with on Sundays and for me if gives me something to open a conversation. I found out where the chicken pops were. I know your wife is losing weight. :) And how Sven knew it was Tony I'll never know...
It can be a great tool for connecting during the week. I have found I can get on and cruise around for too long, I mean who at times can't with all of the friends you make from long ago and all the pictures posted, etc. Like with anything you have to guard your time. But I do feel plugged in to church people more than before.
Great post Fletch. I really have enjoyed Facebook. Your words are food for thought and I am so glad you see it as a positive thing for your geographically challenged church. I've used Facebook mostly for reconnecting with old school mates but also for getting to know people in our large, two service, church.
I have also really enjoyed your blog. It is a bright spot of irreverent reverence!
God bless the MT!
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