Should I Read theMangoTimes?

I have always said that I write theMT for three people (my wife, my brother-in-law Jeff, and my good friend Byron). Yet, I have travelled all over the world and met strangers who have said, "Oh, you're Fletch, I like what you write in theMangoTimes." I used to think that was creepy, now I work on the premise that there is some blog lurker with a Starbucks internet connection in the middle of China reading my goofy comments about Ridiculous Candy and drawing ridiculous conclusions about Americans.

Whether or not you should spend any time reading theMT or listening to my podcasts is hard for me to answer, so I'm going to take the easy way out and create a TopTen List for you. Don't consider these rules. They are really more like guidelines. Either way, they should help you decide whether or not theMangoTimes will be a useful way to spend your time.

Top 10 Reasons You Should Stop Reading theMangoTimes

10. You believe in the eternal remembrance of loved ones by leaving stuffed animals stacked rocks, concrete tombstones, potted plants or Jesus candles on the side of the road (Or vinyl decals on the back of your car's rear window). I may offend you. Just a teeny tiny bit. (But then again, so will Jerry Seinfeld)

9. You did a Google search for mangos and found this blog and still think it is about mangos. It's just the name of the blog. I'm not a fan of mangos. 

8. You believe the 70's sucked. I am only going to say positive things about the 70's (unless you only equate that decade with disco, then I agree with you 100%) 

7. You elevate your pets to the status of human or child. I love all animals, but I guarantee that if you tuck your dog into your warm-ups and go food shopping or let your cats sleep on your pillow, then I will say something about pet ownership that makes you smack my picture on your computer screen. 

6. You are offended by the following statement: "So, I was hanging out with my hot wife the other day..." because that will happen around here. Often

5. You actually know my parents in real life, because I don't want to get in trouble for any of the crap I write about them here on theMT.

4. You think some of these words don't work well together: Homeschooling, Dad, Surfer, Blender Drinks, Christian, Board Shorts, Hot Wife, Church, Tattoos, Movies, Good Wine, Swim Parties, Dance Parties, Jimmy Buffett, Religion, The Bible, and Cold Beer. Unless, of course, you picked the word religion, because I would agree with you that it doesn't fit.

3. You think evangelism begins with the words: "God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life."

2. You are easily offended by the word crap. (See #5).

and the number one reason you should stop reading theMangoTimes...

1. You actually have a life.

 

If you are still here. Hang on. You are either going to have a ball or I'm going to scare the hell out of you!

Quietly making noise,

Fletch